Me And Sister Bobbie (2020)

By Willie Nelson & Bobbie Nelson (with David Ritz)

Genre: Memoir By A Brother And Sister

Recommended For: Someone Who Sees Music As Above All Else An Act Of Generosity

The first time I saw Willie Nelson perform was in 2022. It was his 89th birthday, so I had made sure to temper my expectations of what an 89-year-old was reasonably capable of. About half an hour into his set, he performed a medley of “Funny How Time Slips Away / Crazy / Nightlife,” and that was worth the three hours I’d driven for the show. Fifteen or so minutes later, he played “Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground.” 

I’d been on a real kick of listening to his version of “Always On My Mind,” but I didn’t expect him to play it. The song requires really digging deep and pulling out those notes, that emotion. I didn’t go to the show to see him play “Always On My Mind.” That felt like asking too much. I went to the show to be in the same room (arena) as the guy who recorded that version of “Always On My Mind.” 

But then, less than an hour into his set, he played it. It didn’t take long for me to feel it coming. It was right at “… Maybe I didn’t tell you, that I’m so happy that you’re mine,” when I started crying. He sounded great. He sounded like Willie. What a triumphant way to finish the set, I thought. More than 45 minutes at that age is plenty from a living legend. But when that song ended, he took a beat for the ovation from the crowd before jumping right into “Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die.” Then he played for 30 more minutes. 

He’s ageless now because he always has been. He was old when he was young. He’s young now. Hate, jealousy, and ambition are exhausting. And Willie’s never been tired. He’s been doing what he loves for decades and decades. 

—

My wife and I are having a son. Our first, and possibly only, child. If we were having a daughter, she was going to be named Bobbie. We decided that a lot quicker than the time it took to come up with our son’s name. 

To accomplish what Willie’s accomplished in life is almost tangible. His accomplishments are monumental but, ultimately, you can’t separate them or him from his outlook. To achieve that level of peace (weed helps, sure) and love is, frankly, unrelatable. If it were easy, we’d all be there. He is the calm in the storm of music. Not just country. He transcends it all to get to the core. He adores the American songbook, and he contributed vastly to it. He is the only one left from a certain era, and more than any of them, he could both maintain the most child-like innocence and still be the adult in the room. The part at the end of The Big Lebowski, when Sam Elliott’s character says, “It’s good knowing he’s out there, taking her easy for all us sinners,” that’s about Willie Nelson, to me at least. 

So, knowing that he represents that for multiple generations, there’s something beautiful about realizing that there was someone who was his rock, his calming presence, and his inspiration. Someone who could imbue those qualities without the benefit of fame and acknowledgment. Someone who dealt with sexism at its most grim and infuriating and still offered that steadiness to her brother and the world. That was Bobbie Nelson. 

A great piano player and arguably a better technical musician than Willie, she is present on some of Willie’s best albums and provides the agonizingly gentle backbone (along with harmonica player Mickey Rafael) to the album Red Headed Stranger. 

Me and Sister Bobbie alternates chapters from Willie and Bobbie’s perspective, starting from their childhood and continuing through success and painful tragedies (perhaps none more than Bobbie’s children being taken from her because playing piano in a bar was enough to deem her an unfit mother). The book is willing to stray away from their relationship, so it makes an excellent memoir for Willie fans in general, full of trivia and nuggets that feel like a hike you just want to come home from and talk about with someone. 

At this point, you get it: I loved this book. I loved it the way a short trip with a few friends can take you by surprise and make you realize that you can fill your day with fun but you can also fill your soul with the confirmation that mutual love means the trip will never end. 

—

I never saw Bobbie Nelson play piano in person before she died in 2022. Before her death, though, she recorded an album with Amanda Shires, playing mostly American standards. It isn’t just one of the most underrated albums of this decade - it’s probably my current favorite. 

I managed to see Shires perform the album backed by Asleep at the Wheel and their leader Ray Benson, who had known Willie and Bobbie since the glory days of the early seventies. Shires has a way of singing that feels like the sound must start at her feet and pick up momentum along every part of her body. When you give yourself up to her voice, you stand up a little bit straighter.

Together, with an excellent piano player doing her best Bobbie Nelson, they played “Always On My Mind.” I didn’t cry. I felt like I was flying.  

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